The Sound Village needs therapy
by Anniepopokios
Summary: Everybody knows that people in the sound village have issues so now Annie is here to offer therapy, sitting on her desk in the middle of the street while her dancing spinach roll around on the ground! Orochimaru is up next! And? My little ponies!
1. Chapter 1

**Annie: Okay its an obsession and I just want to write some comedy for awhile but I think you'll like this a lot! It's crazy and I love my spinach! Read and Review! PLEASE! Or else you might discover the mutant spinach dancing on your toilet seat. **

**The sound village needs Therapy**

**Summary**:

Follow me, Annie, as I give the members of the sound village some much needed therapy and find out about their darkest secrets! Along with my dancing Spinach! First Victim…Dosu! The Fluffy boy!

Chapter one

First subject: the fluffy boy!

"Hello everyone," a blonde haired girl with kitty ears greeted," I am Anniepopokios, but just call me Annie and I am here to give the members of the sound village some much needed therapy. I mean I've been watching them for a while and my suspicions have been approved, these people need help so now I have come to save them! With my (Cough cough) shrink license (cough cough) no I don't have issues…" long pause.

" Alright, we should find our first victim, I mean 'patient' not victim, no I do not hide mutant pieces of dancing spinach under my bed, that cannot be proven." Annie begins to shuffle through a desk filled with papers.

"AH HA! Here it is! The sound village, they need help you see so we must fly! COME SPINACH! WE MUST ROLL!" As if on cue a big crowd of spinach dressed in creepy pink clothes burst into the room and roll under the desk and start pushing it away, in the direction of the sound village. Yes, the crazy spinach and I are going to this village!

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Dosu fumbled around with a few spare coins in his pocket as he walked through the sound village. For some strange reason he had received a letter in the mail telling him to come here. He was supposed to meet some strange shrink named "Anniepopokios" he wondered who on earth would name their child that as he walked down the street. The letter had not given him an address but it had said that the place was easy to find so he just walked. Then suddenly, he saw something strange and something inside his gut, or maybe it was spleen, told him that it was her. Sitting at a desk on the side of the main road was a crazy looking woman surrounding by balls of dancing spinach! She clapped her hands and chanted "DANCE SPINACH DANCE!" and a person occasionally gave her a coin, amused and entertained by her mystical spinach.

He gulped down a lump in his throat which actually caused him to choke as he walked up to the desk, praying that this wasn't her. However, the sign on the desk reading "Anniepopokios, professional shrink" told him all he needed to know. Though the professional shrink part looked as if it had been written in blue permanent marker.

"Hello!" the blonde greeted, a dirty looking smile on her face," are you impressed with the spinach, they are my pets."

Dosu looked down at the things as they rolled around on the ground like they were possessed, then he turned back to Annie, a very sick feeling entering him.

"So you must be Dosu?" she asked and he nodded.

"Where is your office?"

"Office?" she asked him dumbly," oh I lost that to an incrazed pink dust bunny years ago, but we're not here to talk about that we're here to talk about you."

"Me? Why? Is there something wrong with me!" Dosu almost shouted making Annie nod and smile like she had a dirty little secret.

"Yes, but when I'm done your sure to feel like a new person so you can frolic about in fields of wild flowers and dance with my spinach! Oh yes and you'll be paying me by the hour." Dosu scoffed, annoyed by her dreams, and the fact that he need not want to frolic in flowers, they gave him hives.

"What do I pay you?"

"Oh I get paid usually in ice cream, Reese's peanut butter is my favorite kind but mint chocolate chip will do but no vanilla!"

"Where I am supposed to get ice cream!" Dosu cried, throwing up his hands.

"Not my problem but I always get paid." Annie smirked," Now sit down." Dosu looked around.

"Where?"

"ON THE DESK!" Annie suddenly snapped making him plop down on the desk, eying the spinach fearfully as it continued to dance its savage dance.

"So Dosu lets begin, first question, why did you decide to join Orochimaru?"

"I just did, is that such a crime plus he offered free poptarts for breakfast every morning!" Dosu licked his lips remembering the delicious poptarts.

"So you like poptarts then?"

"yes I mean no, my diet consists of healthier things." Dosu said suspiciously.

"Okay," Annie eyed the fluffy looking monster on his back, it appeared to be eating him or something like that because it looked like it was alive and Annie could swear it was moving.

"It has been rumored that you keep kittens hidden in that fluffy beast and eat them for dinner, is this so?"

"Who told you that?"

"I can't tell you, that's illegal," a long pause followed her voice, Dosu was convinced, this woman was as mad as the spinach that had now starting gnawing on his shoes which was extremely creepy saying he was sure he'd seen large fangs hidden in that mass of spinach.

"I do not hide kittens in my fluffy; besides, Kittens are good for your colon." He said smartly, making sure nothing furry was sticking out of the large mass of fluff he carried around on his back.

"So you eat kittens do you," Annie snarled, her angry voice making the spinach dance more savagely then before," SPINACH! ATTACK!" Suddenly the mounds of green lettuce lunged at Dosu from all sides, engulfing him in a sea of green as he screamed in agony.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" He screamed as if he was being attack by some mad creature and fell off the desk, the spinach gnawing at his fluffy and tearing it apart, pieces of cotton flying through the air. Annie smiled and suddenly clapped her hands., and the spinach returned to the dark shadows under the desk leaving Dosu sprawling out on the floor. Suddenly a swarm of adorable looking kittens burst from the remains of Dosu's fluffy and ran all around the street.

"KITTENS! GO BE FREE!" Annie cheered madly, standing up on her desk and dancing a little jig, sending the cowering spinach back out into the daylight as they also began to dance this wild dance.

"Just shoot me now," Dosu grumbled as he sat up. The dancing spinach began to roll around on the floor, doing a very lame impression of the worm as Annie joined in with the break dancing. A crowd of people began to gather, watching the insane woman and her fellow spinach buddies dance a big jig as Dosu only stared in horror, trying to find his "happy place."

"GO!GO GO GO!" the people chanted insanely and loud rap music began to play out of no where, the spinach and their master suddenly equipped with bling necklaces and "gangsta" apparel. The people around continued to chant as Annie grabbed a microphone out of nowhere and a spot light fell on her.

"ALRIGHT EVERYBODY!" she screamed into the mic, her body moving to the rhythm of the music as she began raping, Dosu covered his ears and whimpered.

"I went ta tha corner ta bye some FRIED CHICKEN!" Annie chanted," Had ta take it back cause it wasn't fingalicking!" For an insane shrink she was actually a pretty good rapper! The kittens joined din the circle around the people and also began to dance, then they noticed Dosu and began hissing wickedly.

"AHHH!" Dosu cried as they chased after him, sending him running through the sound village in many circles and a few triangles until the got bored and went to go eat some broccoli and popcorn in the alley nearby.

Dosu panted, out of breath as he collapsed on the floor, so thankful that those things hadn't torn him apart as he sat up and looked around, examining his new surroundings. The rap music had finally ceased and he could no longer hear the chanting so he felt a lot better. Than he stood up and his eyes feel upon something that made his stomach turn and flip flop in his stomach, it looked like a wooden desk and then his eyes fell open the horrible beast sitting in the chair behind it.

"Hello Dosu!" Annie cooed and the spinach squeaked with excitement.

"So when will you be paying me? My spinach does so get angry when they do not get their ice cream." Dosu felt near faint. The spinach was crawling up his legs with their invisible claws and squeaking like a mouse caught in a trap.

"WE WANT ICECREAM!" they screamed in high-pitched voices and right there, right then, Dosu fainted.

"Onto the next one!" Annie cheered with glee and drug his carcass out of the middle of the road as her spinach wailed for ice cream.

"Come on my minions! TO DAIRY QUEEN!" Annie squealed like a Sasuke fan girl and they were off to find the king of all frozen dairy treats, ice cream!

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Annie: Don't you worry, Dosu is not dead he just fainted! I think………………………….. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the first chapter not sure who I will interview next but if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them! I love my spinach and yes I know I am insane but isn't everybody? Next up we will have my famed assistant Insanity rise to help with my next victim…I mean test subject… no wait whats the word……….PATIENT! There it is, the spinach will be there too and Miss Insanity rise has dancing mushrooms, they are friends with my spinach! Prepare for more insanity in the next chapter! The thing about the kittens in Dosu's fluffy was thought up by me. Tillitah and Insanity rise! WE ARE GENIUS!

Spinach! REVIEW! (Squeaks and rolls around on floor!)


	2. Next Victim Oro!

**Annie: OMGGOSH! **Its been so long since I've posted anything up and I really wanted to get this done! Right now I am at home sick, so I have plenty of time to type and stuff, so that's how this got finished! I love writing humor though I'm not very good at it, it was really fun! Sorry I haven't typed on anything for so long but I've been working on other things, such as Naruto 3 even though I'm so terrible for not yet finishing Naruto 2, that's just another thing that needs to be done! Next up I'm gonna write a humor story about Haku, Zabuza and Dosu! It'll be awesome I swear! Hope you enjoy this to all the people who suggested I write a interview with Orochimaru!

**Chapter 2**

**Our next victim, Orochimaru-sama**

Orochimaru walked down the empty streets of the Sound village, still puzzled over what had happened earlier. For odd reason, one of his sound nin Dosu had come home raving about a strange woman with dancing spinach and rap, but he couldn't make out most of it. The information had roused his curiosity and now he was off to meet this so called "demon lady." What he didn't know was that soon he'd be surrounded by ice-cream and spinach, and a crazy blonde so right now he felt pretty good. While he walked he whistled a little tune from "The sound of music" because he just loved that movie so much, musicals and chick flicks were his favorites of all time.

He was so caught up in this "merry little tune" that he did not notice as a woman walked in front of him and then, smack! They rammed into each other!

"OUCH!" Annie rubbed her head as she made a collision with the snakey man, her ice cream cone nearly knocked out of her hands. The spinach hissed warnings from behind her.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Annie squealed, rubbing her sore head with her one free hand. Orochimaru's eyes were down at the little green balls that rolled around her feet, this was the lady Dosu had talked about. A large feeling of fear swept through him as the spinach rolled around merrily eating ice cream cones.

"Um… are you Annie?" he was almost too afraid to ask. The woman's face lit up and she threw her ice cream cone to the ground.

"A PATIENT!" With those words Orochimaru suddenly found himself standing in front of a large desk on the side of the street, spinach was still rolling everywhere.

"Alright sit down please," Annie pointed to the empty seat in front of her desk. Orochimaru prepared to sit down but a sudden cluck aroused from the chair, making him jump back to his feet.

"Oh dear you almost sat on Mr. Cluckers!" Annie squealed and pointed to the oddly colored turkey sitting in the chair. Orochimaru glared at it menacingly. It screeched like a chicken being chased by a foxhound.

"You see Mr. Cluckers is another one of my patients! Go home Cluckers your time is up for today!" With those words said the animal jumped out of the chair and made his way stumbling along the roadside, still clucking and bagacking like a strangled chicken.

"You help chickens?" Orochimaru asked surprised as he was finally able to sit down.

"Oh know he's not a chicken!" Annie laughed," Mr. Cluckers is a turkey trying to act like a chicken and I believe its working quite well!"

"Oookkkk." The session had not yet begun and already Orochimaru was feeling like running. Besides, his soap operas would be on soon and he didn't want to miss them! Who on earth could miss one episode of "All my Children" and still call themselves human? But it looked as though this crazy woman might keep him here for awhile.

"Alright let's start the therapy session," Annie instructed as she grabbed a stack of papers out form under her desk.

"Am I going to have to take a test?" Orochimaru asked.

"Oh heavens no, these are just my vacation pictures!" She exclaimed holding up the pictures so Orochimaru could see," me and the spinach went to the grand canyon! I was great except this really tall guy with an axe kept chasing us around!" She pointed to a picture with an insane looking man screamed and ran with a large axe in his hands.

"But what does this have to do with my therapy?" a long silence followed his voice.

"Good point," Annie finally said as she tossed the pile of pictures into the air and the wind carried them. Now just outside the sound village a little man happened to be riding his bike right next to a cliff (why he was doing this I have no idea) and he hummed a tune as he rode but then suddenly, something came out of nowhere. A savage beast surely sent from the pit of hell to destroy him, or maybe it was just pictures of people being chased around by a dude with an axe, either way, they looked scary. As if out for bloodshed the pictures moved it! They threw themselves in front of the mans eyes and blinded him, and then it was all over. The man's bike lunged off the cliff as he screamed with terror. However, his screams did not last long for somehow he found the courage to open his eyes and then looked around realizing that the cliff had only been a few inches deep and he was still safe and sound on his bike. He let out a sigh of relief.

"That was close," he said., but it was not over, suddenly a huge burst of fire erupted from the ditch, and that biker was never seen again! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh sorry, anyway, those pictures really were evil, but back to the real story!

"So here's your first question," Annie chirped," do you have any deep dark secrets, ones that you would never tell anyone no matter how many ice cream cones they paid you!"

"Welll I…" the pressure was on.

"You what!"

"I…" large drops of sweat fell from the Sannin.

"You what!"

"I… I….I…" he was going to start hyperventilating!( wow that's a big word )

"YOU WHAT!" Annie screamed to the heavens.

"I collect…" Orochimaru's voice trailed off as though he was lost In thought," MY LITTLE PONIES!" Suddenly he grabbed one of the pink painted things out of his pocket and held it up for Annie to see. The spinach hissed and rolled farther under her desk, for ponies were their main enemy.

"HOW BEAUITFUL!" Annie squealed with glee! " do you have a favorite?" The little things had to be evil, their big eyes and large smiles proved that through that cute fluffy appearance, they were planning to destroy the government and over throw the economy, but no one ever seemed to notice. They had big swishy tails and colorful manes, any person would have loved them, even Annie was swept away by their charm!

"This one's name is Kabuto! He's my favorite!" Orochimaru squealed, hugging a purple colored one with a white mane and glasses!

"Now Orochimaru, there's something I've always been wondering, Why did you leave Konoha?"

Orochimaru hardly looked up from his pretty little pony dolls.

"Well you see I used to have another favorite my little ponie, it had pretty long hair just like Tsunade's!" there were hearts in his eyes now," but then one day Jiraiya had to come and ruin it all! He stepped on my sweet little pony and threw her into the river! It was unbelievable that a person could do such a thing and on that day I knew that he had to be inhuman so I fled before the rest of my pretty ponies met the same undoing!" Those little things were worse than those little rainbow colored troll figures that seemed to lurk in all of our grandparents basements ( you know what I'm talking about right? The little figures with short and stubby bodies with eyes that are always looking at you! They're worse than Elmo!)

"GASP! THAT'S HORRIBLE!" JIRAIYA IS SUCH A LOSER!" Somewhere in Konoha, probably peeking on the woman's bathhouse, Jiraiya let out a big sneeze.

"Okay moving unto the next question. How do you get your hair to look so bouncy and shining?" Annie had to know the secret, for she wanted pretty hair like his too, she figured she could always cut it off when he was sleeping, but this way sounded easier.

"Oh! Well you see its very very simple! I use woman's shampoo! The beautiful fragrance of Dove shampoo does my hair wonders!" Orochimaru squealed with glee!

"Really… where do you buy this shampoo?" Annie now had out her purple sparkly clip board and was writing down very word that he said.

"From Wal-Mart! I love it there! They have everything!" It was true, Wal-Mart did have a lot of things in that big blue and white store! Even mouth wash! Splee! Mouthwash makes you kissing fresh!

"Really! I must go there!" Annie threw her clipboard off the screen, no literally it just kinda disappeared. Somewhere in the Sound village, a man suffered a concussion from being hit in the head by a purple clipboard that seemed to just fall right out of the sky!

"Orochimaru-sama!" suddenly Annie turned around to see a white haired, stupid looking man standing beside her, he had shiny glasses that seemed to catch her attention.

"KABUTO!" Orochimaru squealed a Sasuke fan girl squeal.

"Yeah," the man looked a little scared by the out burst," I just came to tell you "all my children is on in five minutes!" OH! The horror! If they did not race home they might miss the first few minutes and every knows that's the worst part to miss when watching a soap opera!

"But my Therapy session (if you can even call it that!) isn't done yet!" Annie griped. Kabuto shook his head.

"But it's a 2 hour special! Orochimaru-sama can't afford to miss it!" Orochimaru nodded his head!

"This ahs been fun but we must be g-"

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Suddenly they heard a squeaky voice bark that order at them and they turned around to see something very strange sitting in the dirt. It almost looked like a bug, or a worm, but no, it was too fat.

"What are you!" Annie gaped at the strange creature.

"I am the Leech king!" the little thing cackled madly," FEAR MY NINE SHARINGAN!" It was true, you see, leeches have Sharingan, they have just been hiding that from us for years in order to keep it safe! The three surprised people stared at the leech.

"WE ARE HERE TO OVER THROW YOUR VILLAGE! SO RUN AND SCREAM FOOLS!" The leech cackled again, his nine sharingan glowing menacingly as a thunder of squeaky voices erupted from behind him and more leeches appeared out of nowhere in particular!

"Yeah, you and what army!" Kabuto mocked, but suddenly he found the little creatures getting closer…and closer… and closer and closer and closer (we could gone on like this for days but I'll stop before my fingers start hurting from all the typing!)

"ATTACK!" The nine sharingan monster probably from some place like Canada or Hawaii, or somewhere over the rainbow, screamed!

"AHHH!" Kabuto cried out as he found red eyes all around him and the sharingan-armed leeches went in for the kill! He ran around in circles, screaming in agony as the leeches hung onto him, squealing Sasuke fan girl scream! (There are many Sasuke fan girls you know!)

"I'LL SAVE YOU KABUTO!" Annie (who was secretly a big Kabuto fan!) grabbed a huge flamethrower out of nowhere (where are these weapons coming from you ask, and I will answer! NOWHERE!) She cocked her big gun and ran at the huge army of leeches that were now crowding onto the streets. The people around the sound village had now began to scream and run in circles with their eyes closed which was stupid because they all ran into each other because they couldn't see! It was Annie to the rescue, the crazy/ insane/ sugar high! Blonde lunged at the leeches, a huge blaze of fire erupting from the gun as the leeches fought like dogs with rabies! AH! However, the fire quickly went out and Annie growled at her weapon with agony!

"Why did it stop!" She said with rage and sung the weapon around, hoping that swinging it in circles might miraculously make it work again. Much to her surprise a piece of spinach suddenly fell out of the hole of the gun, burnt and black. It hissed and wheezed like a mad animal.

"I told you guys not to go in the flamethrower! This thing doesn't have a warranty!" Annie screeched as the enraged spinach rolled back under the desk with the rest.

"Wait! Annie ordered to her spinach," the time to strike IS NOW!" As if on queue, the spinach rolled our for under her desk, equipped with mini flame throwers and army helmets (where are they getting all this gear?) Orochimaru and Kabuto ( whop had finally escaped the leeches) only watched in horror as Annie and the spinach lunged into battle, attacking the sharingan equipped monsters with all they had, which by the way, was a bunch of really cheap flamethrowers that they probably got free in kids meals at Mc Donald's.

"Well," Kabuto said staring down at his watch," All my children is on in two minutes, shall we head home!" And so they did, skipping merrily down a flower filled sunny lane as the spinach and their leader fought bravely! When they got back to Orochimaru's secret lair the soap opera had just started and so they forgot all about Annie and her awesome kick butt spinach and watched their favorite soap opera episodes, back to back to back.

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Annie: Yes the randomness never dies! Ha! SPINACH! I did it again! Anyway hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed typing it! If you push that little purple button at the bottom, Mr. cluckers will love you forever and maybe even visit you on Thanksgiving or something like that! I'm home sick right now! But I'm not that miserable so don't everyone go cry for me at once! Just leave a little review, that shall brighten my day! So whom should I interview next? I'm thinking about doing Kimimaru or Tayuya, not sure though! I'm gonna go start on this really funny story with Haku and a pink goat now so keep on the look out for that! School is boring and I don't want to go back tomorrow! Ah!


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